Genuine Happiness is a Prerequisite to Fruitful Social Interaction

Negative emotions, and the pain that accompanies them, signal to your body and mind that they must assume a defensive posture. This state actively drains your energy, even when you are doing nothing. Once thought enters the equation, the loss increases exponentially. This is not only because thoughts in such a state are likely to be negative and prolong your pain, but also because you must actively fight yourself to do more at a time when your body is trying to conserve energy and protect you. In this condition, the harder your thoughts become, the greater the risk of losing composure or failing to respond well to external stimuli.

How does this relate to making friends? If you try to interact with people while unhappy, with the aim of making them like you, you are attempting a deception. Setting aside the fact that this harms others and is ethically questionable, it is also extremely difficult. Most people cannot maintain such a deception even for a short interaction. Others may construct an exaggeratedly cheerful facade, but cracks inevitably show, revealing that something is wrong.

Great interactions are those in which people share energy. They operate on instinct, so expression flows naturally rather than being forced. Negative emotions are wholly incompatible with this process, because they drain energy and foster compulsive, exhausting thought.

Some of you may carry trauma tied to social interaction, causing you to assume a defensive posture from the outset. If you truly want to make friends, you must first learn to be content on your own and work through your traumas. Until then, avoid forcing interactions with others.